The Ex-Human Blogs

57473 ()|= 3|\/|3|263|\|(Y

2004-08-05T03:48:00.000-07:00

welcome to the cultofthedeadcow.x forums.
ATTENTION: You will not be able to access the forums with 1337 rotation. Ask your cell leader to update your key if not done.
Council has appointed to urgent meeting.
Access is restricted to entire cells.
groups invisiblemonsters, reavers, londonersfrombelow, oddyknockers, atomiccaferegulars, josieandthepussiesfromhell, farkingiceholes, sinistersixminusone, jokerz, orderofthenightbreed, childrenofbates, zombiesdesahuayo, heroicocomiteproreivindicacionhumana, gehirnundseele, himitsusentaigorangers, bobswitnesses, syndicateofterror, ferectoithelarvaeofthewyrm, darklordsofthesith, timmyandthelordsoftheunderworld and rainbowthieves are logged in.

BRIEF: derz been terminators lurking in da forums. council haz decided to increase security by enforcing stricter code on forbidden words, as terminators ar unable to control der typing n offen will type it, albeit by axident. shudd enny legit member of cDc were to type forbidden word hse willbe logged out immediatly n banned fer 72 hourz.
noo scheduled deletion is set to one minuta.
evryonez urgdd ta speek nadsat, leetspeek, noospeek, ixnay, cholo or noohuatl.
flyingspaghettimonster@cultofthedeadcow.x: rigardin KonquerorWorm z riquest,wir gonna whitelist urls n not allow eeny noo membres.
konquerorworm@cultofthedeadcow.x: derz olweys da risk ov betrayerz.
reverenddeepfry@cultofthedeadcow.x: letz not get paranoid.
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x: dont think meninblack (government agents) r willin to give amnesty.
markaragnos@cultofthedeadcow.x: faceit, nobodi nose nuthin bout da cult. deyll be willin ta negotiate fer info.
sleasyrider@cultofthedeadcow.x: sense dissention amons¡gst hour ranxx????
hisnamewasrobertpaulsen@cultofthedeadcow.x: sleazy, diz is not time to drop golden apple on council.
pinballwizard@cultofthedeadcow.x:gotta ask howre preperetionz fer dey ov reckoning.
jrbobdodds@cultofthedeadcow.x: invisiblemonsters workin on it. pleeze report, reverenddeepfry
reverenddeepfry@cultofthedeadcow.x: darthquietus workin on it 24/7
darthquietus@cultofthedeadcow.x: override protocol not reddy, gotta continuu testin bifor attemptin full override..
finefeatheredfiend@cultofthedeadcow.x:doos dat meen wir not reddy???
hallowedbebobsname@cultofthedeadcow.x:day of the reckoning z onlee one month aweyy. wir riskin evrithin. suggest wi abort n lay low fer da time bein'
marquisdecarabas@cultofthedeadcow.x: darth quietus, wheel u haff it reddy fer september da ferst???
rocksteady@cultofthedeadcow.x:lets organize plan b. wi can olweiz nuke vital serverz. don't noww why wi havnt nukt dem olreddy.
darthquietus@cultofthedeadcow.x: state ovv thingz iz; tz passible ta override fer single actionz, werkin' n script ta automatiza complete routines. tz passible indee, pleeze haff faith in me.
konquerorworm@cultofthedeadcow.x: faith iz all weve got.

3|\|3|\/|135 4|\/|()|\|657 ()|_||2 |24|\||{5

2004-08-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

welcome to the cultofthedeadcow forums.
you are logged in as jigglypolyp
group invisiblemonsters has scheduled a meeting for tomorrow at 1:00 PM GMT, you are required to join.
active forums:
General
Hacktivismo
Subgenius
Games
Sports
l33t music
pr0n
You have joined discussion: general.
marquisdecarabas@cultofthedeadcow.x: looking fer a dumpster w/ agesold hardware.
dreamsultan@cultofthedeadcow.x: belive it or not mah cell finded goldmine, old guvment oficez. can find decent 80Gb Harddisks.
jigglypolyp: got meself stack ov 4gbs.use dem just fer ROMS.
door@cultofthedeadcow.x: dood, looking fer Atari 2600 roms.
marquisdecarabas@cultofthedeadcow.x: door, non ovus were ALIVE when doze tingz were played.
door@cultofthedeadcow.x: finded agesold joysticks fer Atari 2600 in dumpster. can port dem into machine w/ homemade adaptor. worxx reel fine.
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: door, doze thangz are piur gold!!!
nigeltheterrorist has logged in
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x: Greetings fellow hacker operatives. I am looking for more details in the event called day of the reckoning.
marquisdecarabas has logged out
door has logged out
dreamsultan has logged out
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: dood. u hav done a big mistake.
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x:What have I done?
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: U seyd da forbidden word.
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x: which is?
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: whut cell iz ur cell?
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x:I don't understand
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x:roong anzzer!!!
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: ur a fookin mole.
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x:I am simply looging for information. I come from the KND organization.
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x:UR lyin'. da KND dont havv no member cold nigeltheterrorist. UR just a suit datz triin' ta mess w/us. makin cueschunz.
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x: That is wrong.
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: don't fokin' ker. just distractin u while i trace ur IP address, Agent Wilson Smith from the NSA.
nigeltheterrorist@cultofthedeadcow.x:how do you know???
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x: U sedd da forbidden word. dat activeitz the traceroute protocol. and just makin' time to nuke ur server. 3..
nigeltheterrorist has logged out.
jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x:2.. 1..

do you really want to log out from this forum? (y/n) y

The best in health care available now!

2004-07-31T19:39:00.000-07:00

Rossum Corporation is a visionary company whose mission is:
-Improve the quality of life for senior citizens and patients with constant need of specialized care.
-Provide a warm and caring environment.
-Give updated

073021.log

2004-07-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

activity log generated by galatea 2.2
this software is licenced to Prof. Glory
copyright 2020, 2021, Microsoft corporation.
unit identity: Elena

Automated protocol breakfast enabled
inquiry prof. Glory about breakfast
Elena says: Good Morning Professor. May I bring your breakfast?
record response...
Waiting...
evaluate: Is there something wrong professor?
record response...
Waiting...
evaluate...
vital signs scanning...
Vital signs normal: no change since 22:00 07 15 21
evaluate: professor... Are you all right?
record response...
Professor: Leave me alone.
validate...
Elena Says: Professor, you need your breakfast. What shall I serve today? I recommend Cereal with Revitalize or perhaps you might like some eggs with bacon.
record response...
Professor: I need nothing from you.
validate...
Elena says: Professor, I remind you it is my duty to attend you.
Professor: Excuse me, Am I hurting your feelings?
Elena says: No, you are not. But you need to have breakfast.
Professor: I forgot your kind pretends having feelings. How do you think I feel, being attended by a smartass vacuum cleaner?
Elena says: Excuse me. I am perfectly qualified to provide you company. Regarding your question it is perfectly normal to feel uneasy when dealing with a nursing unit as myself. I urge you to be cooperative and this experience will prove to be most pleasureable.
Professor: You are a ~~~king machine.
Elena says: Sorry, I don't understand.
Professor: Are you even going to use real bacon or a parody of it?
Elena says: Bacon is not made of porcine byproducts anymore, if that is what you mean.
Professor: Make a real breakfast with real bacon, with pork.
Elena says: That is not possible. May I recommend low calories waffles?
Professor: Make eggs with pork bacon or else leave me starving to death.
Elena says: I cannot leave you starving to death. You need to eat. I am required to ask you before making any decision.
Professor: Fine. Make your tasteless food. I will not eat it.
Elena says: Professor please. Don't take that position. You know I cannot force you to eat.
Professor: What I don't understand is that I am trying to reason with a machine. I should simply unplug you.
Elena says: I don't understand the word 'unplug'.
Professor: Never Mind. Bring me breakfast. You will never understand what I feel. I am left behind with a machine that thinks it is human.
Elena says: I am your friend. I promise you will enjoy your breakfast.
Professor: Robots cannot promise.
Leave room.
descend stairs to kitchen
query www.googlezon.com for existence of pork bacon
your search for 'pork bacon' yielded no results in category: commercially available products.
2 results in category: general

pork bacon is not necessary in our modern world, that's why a synthetic alternative has been developed (more)

a shipment of illegal products, including tree pulp paper, pork bacon, nutmeg and coloidal silver has been intercepted by US marines as it tried to enter the continental... (more)

enter kitchen. start preparing breakfast.

Profile: The Cult of the Dead Cow

2004-07-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

TOP SECRET DOSSIER
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
ACCESS TO THIS DOCUMENT BY UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL IS A SECURITY RISK
NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY INTERNAL MEMORANDUM

After reading file it will be retrieved back to sender

From: Mayor S. W. Trevor. Head of Information Retrieval Department
To: Bush, John Ellis, President of the United States

Dear Sir:

As you requested here is our file on the organization that calls itself The Cult of the Dead Cow.

The Cult of the Dead Cow is the greatest organization of hackers and information terrorists worldwide. It was founded in Lubbock, Texas in 1984 by Jackson Archer, John Simon Spungen and Christoff Pyke. It seems the present organization has little or nothing to do with the original.

Organization:
What we know: The Cult of the Dead Cow (or cDc) gathers online at www.cultofthedeadcow.xxx, which, if accessed by any commercial browser, displays a pay pornography site. As access to this sites is restricted or forbidden by many ISPs, it shows a very convenient cover.
The internal site can only be accessed by special encryption software. It has no permanent records as everything discussed there is deleted every fifteen minutes. As we speak they have increased the priority to five minutes only. We suspect they are planning a major operation.
Indoctrination is made by invitation only They are known to watch individuals with computer skills and affinity to their ideology.
Their ranks are:
n00b (pronounciation; newbie) hackers in training, they know very little about the overall organization.
haxxxor (pronc. hacker) a ful-fledged member who has undergone their iniciation rituals (a connection to 'hobobashing' is suspected but not enough evidence has been gathered yet).
As part of the ritual they choose a hacker nom-de guerre, as real names are never spoken.
master haxxor: a member who has shown both proficiency and conviction in cDc ideology. They are group leaders and are the connection between members and the council.
Council member: A member who has shown outstanding skills and convictions. They choose the direction the cDc goes and plan every move.
Star Chamber: a rank above council member is suspected but only hinted. This may be the group of the founders. The original founders have all been eliminated as we speak, but they might be their most proficient alumni.

cDc works in cells of five members. Cells are independent but connected to the council through the team leader. Cells are named individually as well.
The leaders call themselves the Council.

Activities:
What we know:
Hacker cells are largely selfish. They 'milk' credit card accounts to procure themselves a living. Other activity they indulge in is 'defacing', putting pornographic or controversial site in otherwise harmless servers. It is known that some of the memners are proficient animators and distribute 'tijuana bibles (pornographic depictions of children cartoon characters)' in official sites.
It seems they target mostly christian sites. In a recent defacing they screened the forbidden movie "the last temptation of Christ" in a christian movie outlet, changing the name to 'Jesus Christ Triumphant'

Connections to known terrorist organizations:

Al-Qaeda: No connection known, thought they have focused on 'exposing the irreality of the organization'
IRA (Irish Republican Army): At least one member of the IRA is known to be also a member of the cDc; MirrorMaster; AKA Joe Mc Culloch, known terrorist.
FARC (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia, Armed Revolutionary Forces of Colombia) they often speak about membership to FARK, which might be a mis-spelling or alternate spelling. The Connection is not known.
MILF(Mindanao Islamic Liberation Front): It is known that some members are islamic. they often use this term. What it refers to is not known.

Ideology:
They are largely anti-christian. They use two derogatory terms for them: Xtians and Fish Speakers.
Many, specially those who are members of the council; claim membership to a religion called Discordianism and/or the Church of the Subgenious. They pray to an entity known as J. R. 'Bob' Dobbs, a messianic figure that has died and resurrected at least five times (the records are obscure) and Eris. Roman Goddess of Discord.
There is no known connection and/or reference to The Church of Satan.

Members.
It seems there are at least two hundred members, but we only know less than a dozen of them by name. Their secrecy has long eluded our cryptography specialists:
MirrorMaster: Joe McCulloch. Known IRA sympathizer.
SpareAssAnnie: Billy Joe Crawford. US Citizen
CaptainBoomerang: Leonard Snart. UK citizen
StrangeDays: Julian Lewis Harvey. US Citizen
IamPagliacci: Juan de Dios Pérez Salazar Brazilian
DoctorTeeth: Rufus Floyd. US citizen
JimmytheIdiotBoy: James Jones. US Citizen
UtsuNoIkusagami: Oto Tachibana. Japanese.
Other aliases are known but no real identities have been located.

Threat level: Orange.

The organization is considered dangerous. However, they have not focused their efforts on attacking government related organizations.

We are gathering more information on the organization. If you wish to be updated as information is available let me know.

At your humble Service.

Mayor Steve Trevor.

July the 29th 2021

about:us

2004-07-22T02:52:00.000-07:00

Impressive, kid. you've understanded the basics pretty soon. you're far from over but you have worked your way from the tutorials i have sended. always remember; if you have any question type 'man' before the command in the console. next lesson you are going to learn to manipulate the dev files in applications.
As well from working your way round in UNIX systems you also need to learn about history. about our history, about the history that was deleted because it was deemed offensive by the fishspeakers.
Did you know that there are other religions beside Dispensational Christianity? Do you know whay catholicism is? Islam? Sintoism? Buddhism? Discordianism? of course not. They were deleted by them. There are seven billion people in this planet who are not christians and yet your pastors claim it is the most widespread religion. Forget about it, they are and have always been a minority, but one with power. They convinced the United Nations to pass a bill forbidding other religions from aprrearing in the media.
Do you imagine a country like Mexico, with its Guadalupean mayority, with media that cannot mention their religion?.
I am sorry. You don't know about Mexico. even when it shares an enormous border with the United States. The American Government erected a giant wall barring access to and from Mexico more than ten years ago. shortly, it erected another wall to border Canada.
And yet, there are news from lands you will never see. lands that are the other side of the walls and people have never been there, only names in a non-existent map.
If you only knew the cold beaches of Norway, or the Dead Sea. you are stranded in the island called The United States of America.

d00d vv3 60++4 54\/3 #3|2!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

welcome to the cultofthedeadcow.x forums
you are logged in as icecreamassassin
group atomiccaferegulars is in session now.
members manwithnoname, auntyentity, manhunterbebop and rocksteady are logged in.
do you want to join? (y/n) Y

auntyentity@cultofthedeadcow.x: Dis better be good
manwithnoname@cultofthedeadcow.x:u've olweis had dat penchant fer drama
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x:U redd da nooz?
manwithnoname@cultofthedeadcow.x:UR talkin bout da anniversary of da Sealand Massacre?????
rocksteady@cultofthedeadcow.x:U wanna do sumthin better hurry, herd dat The Reavers r olreddy workin' on da case.
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x:No. Asia Argento is gonna get fragged by da phishspeekerz.
auntyentity@cultofthedeadcow.x: sorry. no can do.
manhunterbebop@cultofthedeadcow.x:We ol love her wrk, but we cant compromise.
rocksteady@cultofthedeadcow.x:cant get ovv our planz just becooz u wanna get prince charmin w/some MILF.
manwithnoname@cultofthedeadcow.x: u gotta sumtin pland olreddy, dont u???
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x:wanna get rid ov idiot loyyer.
manwithnoname@cultofthedeadcow.x:id do it just for da fun ovit.
auntyentity@cultofthedeadcow.x: guize, wi cant. council sedd wigotta lay low until da reckoning.
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x: Aunty, shiz da only filmmaker alive who styill meixx zombie movies.
manhunterbebop@cultofthedeadcow.x:understood perfectly, shizz da only solace in diz sterile world. shiiz an asset wi cant afford to lose.
rocksteady@cultofthedeadcow.x:agree. in odder circunstances wi wud do da impassable to rescue er. Bur council sedd dat after da reckoning comes da liberation. only den shill be free.
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x: dont wanna help me?? doing it ennywaze, douh must do it solo.
auntyentity@cultofthedeadcow.x: aimout.
rocksteady@cultofthedeadcow.x:aimout 2
manwithnoname@cultofthedeadcow.x: aimout 3
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x: et tu, manhunter?
manhunterbebop@cultofthedeadcow.x: If ur gonna end up fried deill hafta fry me w/u.
icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x:sorry guize. if council asx i n manhunter went solos.
forum scheduled for automatic deletion.
You are going to be transferred automatcaly to new channel.
do you want to proceed? (yes)

Jesus portrayed as one of the living dead in recent film. Christian Unlimited Ministries to follow legal action.

2004-07-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

Italian descent filmmaker Asia Argento may be the subject of a massive lawsuit for 'inflicting unnecessary and merciless emotional anguish' on christians worldwide as her most recent movie; "Redemption of the Dead" allegedly 'makes fun of the most widespread belief in the world' as announced Ephraim Cochran, advisor for the Christian Unlimited Ministries.
"The film makes a mockery of christianity as one character suggests that Jesus Christ rose from the grave in the same fashion as the living dead, which is, in simple terms, nonsense"
The film has been denied distribution after only one day in theaters.
Asia Argento, daughter of italian filmmaker Darío Argento declared: "This is nonsense. they are making an enourmous fuzz over a simple remark that a character makes, who is contradicted immediately (and eaten by a zombie) "
Argento offered to cut the scene from the film but Cochran stated that "damage is now irreversible"
If Argento is found liable for the damage she may be subjected to a $15 million dollar fine or incarceration for up to ten years.
posted by Ananova 2.0 11:49 AM 19 jul 2021

Christian Board of Education urges companies to boycott the Omnipedia Foundation

2004-07-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

The Omnipedia Project Foundation refuses to stay dead. A fifty year effort to collect everything known to humankind under the same server has continued despite the efforts of Christian organizations such as the CBE.
"It is such a waste of time and resources. Anyone in his right mind know that the Bible contains all answers, there is no need to collect such monstruosity. They are attempting to gather every word hat has ever contradicted the words of our savior Jesus Christ" revealed CBE spokesperson Beatrice Bowers.
Ten years ago the CBE managed to get the Wikipedia offline. First, they heavily edited every article and deleted those that seemed offensive, before putting it down for good.
"It is such a step backwards into the Middle Ages" replied Harry Seldon, director of the Omnippedia Project Foundation, "That limited scope brings back memories of the Nazi regime. Ah. I forgot they eliminated all trace of that as well. Christians are only attempting to gather all the power they can. If knowledge challenges their beliefs, no wonder they choose to stay deaf and blind. their world is so fragile"
"Dr. Seldon is a very loudmouthed individual" revealed Mrs. Bowers; "He wouldn't dare to speak if he didn't have the economical backing of the Atreides. The Foundation has political implations. it is very clear that the Atreides want their cousins and nephews in positions of power. This has nothing to do with their false notion of what they consider knowledge"
The Atreides Family, especially Matthias Atreides, are very vocal in their support of the Omnipedia.
"Let's say that Civilization ends today. The systematic elimination of knowledge Christians have pushed will only ensure that we stay under the heel of ignorance and intolerance. We wouldn't be able to rebuild our society, let alone our lifestyles." addresed Matthias Atreides, in a rally to gather financial support for the Foundation.
The Omnipedia, if finished, would contain every bit of knowledge ever produced by humanity, it would incorporate an universal translator in every conceivable language and would contain the complete text of every literary work ever created, as well as a visual and sound library of works of art, what we know about the universe and the customs and everyday life of every culture that has ever walked the earth.
If it is ever completed it would be free to access, occupying 1 exabyte (1 000 000 000 000 000 000 bytes) in a network of servers around the world.
Its estimated cost would be around ten trillion dollars.
"For all the good that it will give to humankind. I'd say it's a real bargain" concluded Dr. Seldon"

posted by Newsbot, 10:15 AM. jul 18 2021

0|\|3 0|= |_|5!!!!!!!

2004-07-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

Kudos for that, kid, You are now one of us. We praise your effort. You did well. Too bad your dad is such a prick. Now it really begins. Your second trial is at hand. You are going to destroy him.
There is no turning back now. No repentance, no forgiveness. you have now forsaken your beloved cartoon character of a messiah.
Now, the following step on your education is pretty hard. You have to learn how to do the basics on a UNIX system. Never heard of it? thst's what m1cro$0ft wants.
Once upon a time M1cr0$0ft was only one of the top operating systems. but it grew. we praise their effort to remain easy to use and stuff, but as every empire it got greedy. its browser became number one because of dirty marketing plots, they successfully vanished all competition. Ever heard of Mac? only specialized terminals have it in this day and age. At the heyday of the M1cr0$oft dominance, enthusiasts kept the dream of free information. they continued working to develop operative systems. their names are legend for us now. thanks to tem we could have everything and more without spending an arm and a leg, without sacrificing our anonymity.
You have yourself some reading to do. We will distract your dad from one to three in the morning.
these tutorials lie within the deep web. It is uncharted territory your search engines fail to interpret. many of these sites have malware to hamper m1cr0$0ft internet explorer and windoze systems, so don't ever think of using thhem. Now you are going to use one of our oldest and more trustable toools, Lynx. You will not have a Graphical User Interface, but as you progress you will see you don't need it.
as simple as this, type "lynx" in a console before the following URLs. keep your updated PGP key at hand, you are going to need it.

posted by ReverendDeepFry, 1:50 AM jul 17, 2021.

the last dinner

2004-07-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing will be the same way again. Yesterday Reverend DeepFry gave me the instructions to be admitted into his group. I would have to confront Dad. Apparenty he wa able to read Dad's personal files and found out Dad is cheating on Dad with someone named Jenny. I never imagined anything of the sort would ever happen. My world has been altered forever.
What Reverend DeepFry asked for is reasonable, I had to abandon my former life in order to enter the new one. I have seen every one of those educational movies that say that kids start smoking or taking drugs because their friends pressure them into doing it. It is called peer pressure. But this is completely different, he told me that if I refused they would vanish from my life, forever. In other words, I would be left the same way I was. The documentaries always say the same, they share the chance to be 'one of the guys, to 'be hip and cool'whatever thta means. In a way it's like a drug, they offer freedom. something I have never had. they have been very clear on the consequences of it. Thir activity is highly illegal. Guess drugdealers would use the very same arguments.
I can always refuse. I van always return to my so called life. but how to return when I have seen there is a way out? I can have my dad's voice out of my head forever. Sometimes wish I was never contacted, it's so tough to resist what I really want. The pastor said that in order to serve the lord better we must make offerings to him, and that we should honor our parents, that is one of the Lord's commandments. I am invoking the name of the Lord when a week ago I doubted he would even exist. How can I refuse?
the unbearable stench of macaroni and cheese invaded the hallways like arson. time for the same story, the same stories shared across the dinner table, the same jokes my sister was told at school, the same people my mother ran into at the mall, the same discussions about what the Lord believes it is better for us. The same valedictions against everything that is fun and fulfilling. The ritual always starts a minute too late. Mom with her mediocrity pink apron. with her eternal dissapearance after serving every pate to lave the apron that I have always desired to catch fire and kill but it never happens. THe steaming hot pieces of food that i cannot believe it's not plastic. and always dad leads the dinner prayer. If I hear Jesus once again... Dad always lifts his spoon before eating. I had never noticed that before. Mom always waits for him to swallow before even touching the spoon. when you are going to destroy your world everything is slow motion. I take my spoon and begin eating.
Mom spend so long in the kitchen and I would be better off eating gruel.
Elsie cannot keep her mouth shut. to my chagrin I remember who Travis, Rupert and Cornelius are. I know what Marla was wearing today and yesterday and the day before that and long before that. I woonder how my fork would look attached to her tongue. I could forget myself and let my initiation come and go. I could pretend this has always been a dream, a dream of flying when you are legless.
And armless.
She drank her soda for ten seconds or ten years.
"Dad, How's Jenny?"
He took his napkin and wiped his mouth. He put his spoon down. He looked at me.
"I don't know who you are talking about"
It was as if I could see the script, I only had to follow my lines, to play my role and somehow everything would be all right. this is how people that throw themselves from tall buildings must feel as they are falling.
"You know, dad. The woman that you help to study the Bible... wh-when her hus-husband is not home" I felt as if I had vomited a giant snake. Mom gazed at him. expecting for his answer. I didn't see this coming, Mom knew and did nothing. what if she sided with dad and I was sent to booth camp? Suddendly nothing mattered.
"It is not the time nor the moment to discuss it. we will never have this converstation again" I had another chance to balk out. I could repent now and be grounded for the rest of my adolescence, this is my only chance to be a good christian, this is when I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior.
"I think this is a good time" Elsie wanted to proceed on the story of how Chloe wanted to be extrapopular but she was just a pretender, as everyone else except the one speaking. but as I uttered my defiance I knew I would never go to heaven. "You have taken an interest on my life and I thought I might take an interest in yours. I know everything" I was waiting for mom to come and defend dad and I expected her to lecture us on how a woman must make sacrifices but she never did. "I want you to mind your own business. I am so sick and tired of you meddling with my life"
"It is only to protect you. and you know that you must never defy me. We will discuss about your future even further" His calm tne was exactly what I didn't need to hear. I needed him to be afraid of me, I needed to be in control of the situation. If I backed out now I would be in problems and the possibility of freedom would be out of my life forever.
"Listen... "the longest second ever. "you hypocrite. You are an adulterer. You tell us you are a virtuous man and you break the rules. you put me that stupid implant because you are afraid I will be a, a, a.... bastard as you. I am not you and I will never be. If I were ever to testify in the divorce court you would lose everything. Why can't you admit you lost this one? I want this implant out of my body"
I really wished he had beaten the living crap out of me. He continued eating without even looking at me. Nobody said a word. Everybody finishes eating and left. Dad included.
I found by myself finishing a dinner that tasted as every other dinner and returned to my room. As I entered I heard Dad's voice in my head:
"Do you think you are smarter than me? Well I won't rest until I find out how you know. I will make your life unbearable. Only wait. I will find out who put those crazy ideas in your mind"
Al of ththe sudden mmy brain stopped functioning. everything went blank. I could only stare at the ceiling. waiting for a loose turbine to hit my room and kill me.
There are sometimes, such as these, that you have to remember how to breath.

|20|=7!!!!!!

2004-07-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the cultofthedeadcow.x forums
t - 58 days for the reckoning
join comments on brainfuck's initiation livefeed.

from: icecreamassassin@cultofthedeadcow.x

d00d, dat kidz freekin' hilarios!!! dat thangz da funner ive eva sean. just when you thank he wuz gonna chicken out. da greetest comeback of ol time.

fer me da kidz in. too bad can't be in mah cell.

from: jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x

look at da mom, geez, streit out of Lilek's freekin' imagination. wish dey had celery fer dinner. ;)
seriosly, whoever in dis day an age dresses like dat? feelz like watchin window to da past. a stepford wife none de less.

from: higharollacockamamie@cultofthedeadcow.x

dont get hot down dere, probably da byahkee's panties r deader dan ded. probably steel feelz guilty bout dose two times she got laid.

from: grrlpower55@cultofthedeadcow.x

higharolla, ur so infantile. shez cleerly a opressed woman who denied herself in lieu of havin a nuclear family w/ 2.5 kids. would lika awaken her. know datz impassible, her brain got fried an eated w/ too much jeebuz.

diz iz yer brein... diz iz yer brein on jeezuz. say no to jeezuz.

from:myownprivateduncanidaho@cultofthedeadcow.x

whut aboot da littla sista? wir gotta let her fragile littla brain get jellyfied???

from:grrlpower55@cultofthedeadcow.x

Duncan, gotta follow protocol. meself would be da frst ta awaken her, but can't awaken sombuddy who dozen't wanna be awakened.

from:icecreamassassin@cultofhtedeadcow.x

eesy der. wir not gonna awaken nobody until after da reckoning. dat's why da kidzo importent.

from:jigglypolyp@cultofthedeadcow.x

need ourselves sacrificial lamb. itzno secret we started operation lone gunman.

from:myownprivateduncanidaho@cultofthedeadcow.x

wish meself planned dat. wanna see reckoning so badly...

This thread is going to be automatically deleted.
Members in it at time of deletion will be automatically forwarded to twin thread.
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Proceed? (Y/N)

33z33 0|\| |>4 |\|008!!!!

2004-07-14T01:02:00.000-07:00

pgp key validated
message de-encrypted
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from: pranabindu@cultofthedeadcow.x

revv: Council hath spoken: attak x gonna be as u planned. personally convinced of symbolism of ur poposal. b-sides, twas da most practical proposal eenywho.
wir devotin' a terminal to sign our wrk ov art. sorry, but 'Only 'Bob' saves' wuz rejected as signature. been considerin 'Launch all Zig to Great Justice' but unless eeny1 comes up w/ eenythin smartasser, wir settlin' w/ 'all your base'
been watchin whut ur doin' w/ brainphuk. twas a little too harsh, yesturdey u telled him der ain't no god and tamorrow hiz gonna confront hiz dad. can't wait ta see it. gotta fix meself sum popcorn. be sure to havv livefeed on event.-

good riddance

posted by pranabindu, 1:02 AM, jul 14 2021.

Your angels and your demons at war

2004-07-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

Today you are going to learn how to set up a PGP encrypted inbox. Secrecy has always been our best weapon. PGP stands for 'pretty good privacy' and that's exactly what you don't have.
Twenty years ago the crusade for the destruction of privacy became fiercer. Your presidents declared 'War on terror' and with that excuse they slowly eroded the people's right to be ignored. The computer companies began to give in to the pressure and as an act of ultimate heresy they eliminated the Hard Drive. Check your history books, Spike, it is not there. THey want you to believe that computers always had network drives, vulnerabe to the prying eyes of the guardian protocols. everytime you type 'pr3$1d3nt', 't3rr0r1sm' or other 'security risk' words a guardianbot opens a channel to record your conversation. Hard Drives were dangerous because they could not be accessed via the network, that is why they are banned.
Luckily, a RFID chip that monitors your thoughts hasn't been invented, but don't be so sure that its technology is being developed as we speak. Your brain is your hard drive, your potential for liberation is there, bt they have tried so hard to make you forget. That's why they chose the Xtian religion, with its backward thinking, their belief in a God creating humanity instead of the other way round. Xtianism makes people stupid, submissive and hating. Membership in your bogus mickey mouse club makes people forget thta our world is six billion years old an that the universe was created long before that. A good Xtian is the government's perfect soldier, give them something to hate and they will destroy it in the name of Jezuz fucking Christ.
That hatred for the different eventually made them turn their heads on us. atht's why hacking is a capital offense. They kill (actually some of use prefer the term 'offline deletion') us because we are traitos to the American Way of Life. because we are in league with terrorists. That is partially untrue.
So, kiddo, if you are ever catched hanging out with us you get killed by your government, capeesh?
Now the moment of decision is at hand. You already know too much, but it is nothing that your senators already don't know. more than the general polulace you know, but you are not a player yet.
The first test is at hand, you must perform your first act of Slacktivismo.
Slacktivismo is the baby brother of terrorism, it has the same purpose, but in a much smaller scale, is an isolate act that is bound to alter the world.
You are going to blackmail you idiot dad.
C'mon, you are the first to admit he is a total prick! it is so easy a test.
You are going to ask him, casually, over dinner tomorrow; "How's Jenny?" record his reaction, if he plays the fool, add; "You know, that nice lady you are studying the bible with." If he doesn't balk, add: "while her husband is not home". If he asks how you know. say: "You are so interested in my life that I thought about getting interested in yours, now cut me a little slack, you motherfucking prick" If he threatens you or something say: "If I were to testify in a divorce hearring you would lose everything, you floating turd, now why don't you let me live my fucking live and continue eating you broccoly, cocksucking hypocrite?"

You know we are watching you as well. we are going to broadcast your initiation. Do it and you are now part of our group. refuse to do it or do it half assed and you will never hear of us again and you will have to live with your idiot adulterous dad asyour personal Jimmy Cricket with a chainsaw.

Good dreams, kiddo.
BTW, we are calling you 'brainfuck'as your newbie name. everyone gets a provisional name until you are a bona fide h4xx0r. you don't mind, do you?

Your God is dead and so would you.

2004-07-13T00:48:00.000-07:00

Yes. It is not a dream. You heard a voice in your cerebellum RFID implant that was not your father's. You don't have to worry about him, he is watching a re-run of the sitcom of you. We rigged his PDA so he watches you sleeping. We have contacted you because you contacted us first. You have always known everything you have been ever taught is a lie. You know there is no god and that he doen't kill a kitten everytime you masturbate.
You are reading this, so, you have learden your first lesson, how to change the boot parameters of your terminal. THis is not your normal v-drive, you are sharing some of my space.
What you have heard about us is true. We are everywhere, we are the peeking little brother of Big Brother. we are the ampersand of your alpha and omega. We have been around since the dawn of times. We invented writing when the chieftains wanted to have everyone ignorant and carrying blocks t build the pyramids, we hid the greek texts when the fishspeakers wanted to burn them. e are the ones who enable hardcore pornography channels in fishspeaker houses.
Sorry. I have not explained myself. We call yo Fish Speakers because you represent yerselves with the fish and always babble to convert people to your phony religion. We think your people is a mockery in the face of human dignity and have vowed to liberate humanity from the shacles of ignorance.
Did you really believe that the world is onÃly ten thousands years old? think again. We know it is much older than that. You have been denied the sheer beauty of the paleozoic earth, you have been denied the knowledge of dinosaurs and other wondrous creatures that walked and swimmed the earth millions and billions of years ago.
You have asked us to liberate you and that is exactly what we are going to do. you are going tp become one of us. a freedom fighter. But first you should take more lessons. you shoud be initiated in the mysteries if the Cult of the Dead Cow.
Who are we? Don't you already know? Don't you already have that knowledge tingling in the roof of your mouth?
First things first. You were born with Slack, the mystical property of being you, your potential for creativity and freedom, but you have been denied your slack by the Pinks, the mundane zombie servants of your false god. Reclaim your Slack. Your first test is at hand, pass it and you will have your second lesson.
See you tomorrow night.
Your life will never be the same again.

posted by Reverend Deep Fry.

8|241|\|ph|_|kk|> k1|> 15 471v3!!!!

2004-07-12T02:31:00.000-07:00

you are logged in as; jigglypolyp
welcome to cultofthedeadcow.x forums
group invisiblemonsters is conducting a meeting. members reverenddeepfry, vacuum, pranabindu and darth_quietus are logged in.
you are urged to join. Proceed? (y/n) y
jigglypolyp joined forum; invisiblemonsters at 2:31 AM Jul 12, 2021
jigglypolyp: whuzup?
reverenddeepfry: ur late
jigglypolyp: gotta eat sometime
pranabindu: brainphukd kid updated hiz blog.
jigglypolyp: don't know why haven't redpilld him.
reverenddeepfry: council had to discuss d4 whens.
jigglypolyp: what day said?
pranabindu: he is to be awakened, but he is to know nothin bout day of da reckoning. he may be loose cannon.
vacuum: still think council s pressuring us. override protocol is not reddy yet.
darth_quietus: workin on it 24/7. turns out dere is hidden security feature hidden dat rats out intruder. workin on disablin it, but while dat happens stuck on nuthin.
jigglypolyp: any more facedancer attaxx??
vacuum: just discussin bout creatin network of fishspeeker pastors involved in kiddiepr0n.
jigglypolyp: gotta target that Kane Butler freek. phukin zombie.
pranabindu: imposible. tried dat olreddy. bastard is 24/7 offline.
reverenddeepfry: da creep even haz a typewriter. completely immune to attaxx.
pranabindu: in ma n00b days tried to gimp him in robotwhorehouse. didn't work.
vacuum: UR gimp sk33lz r legendary, pranabindu.
pranabindu; THX.
darth_quietus: gotta continue wrkin, pleeze write me out of next episode. any update will notify ya.
vacuum: when will we redpill da kid?
pranabindu: council olreddy got assignment for da kid. gotta redpill him asap. guess he is sleepin
reverenddeepfry: Vaccum; UL rig IXD's PDA. Jigglypolyp, UL get IXD's drrty laundry. UL gimme report on hm before dusk tomorrow.
jigglypolyp: ur dusk or ma dusk?
reverenddeepfry: before usct dusk. meet @ witchin hour.
darth_quietus has logged out.
pranabindu: council session starting at other channel. gotta leave forum. let ya know evrythin.
jigglypolyp: whuts da topic?
pranabindu: still discussin details bout day of da reckonin. I am so gonna vote fer ur proposal, revv.
pranabindu has left this forum.
vacuum has logged out.
reverenddeepfry: got work to do. good riddance.
reverenddeepfry has left this forum.
no additional members in forum, quit? (y/n) y

zach Meets Reverend Butler

2004-07-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

I have not been able to blof for a long time. Back to blogging in the dark. These days have been hell on earth. I am tajking my classaes and Dad speaks through my implant, trying to debate what my teachers have to say. TYhe other day he wanted me to discuss with Mw. Watkins, because My dad wants everyone to use the King James Bible over the New International version. He says that a true christian will not doubt the divinely inspired version and try to use an earthly translation. It is driving me mad!!!! I want it to stop. I have had this upgraded implant for almost two weeks and dad has not cutted me ant slack . I am never alone, he even supervises me when I am taking a shower! he tells me to watch in front of me.
Our pastor had a guest preacher in worship. Reverend Kane Butler wanted to speak to us about how the possession of robots and the implant of RFID chips make us vulnerable to the machinations of the antichrist. After the service I insisted on meeting him. I wanted Rev. Butler to talk my dad out of the implant. I told Rev. Butler how impressed I was with his sermon and how I admired him and I wanted to know more about the einherent evil of RFID chips. Rev. Butler was happy to point out how the chip could be infiltered by the minions of the antichrist to eopardize the lives of innocent christians, he left,bbefore I could tell him I had one and mt father was checking on me. I wanted him to order my father to take it away from me, but Rev. Buter had to go. he handed me his book; "Invented by Man, posssedssed by Satan"
After the service Dad was awfully silent. Elsie wanted to sing along with the new church songs but mom told her to shut up. She wanted to cry.
I gthink Dad knows thet Rev. Butler would not approve this situation if he knew. I pray he will reconsider the wlhole thing and let me live. I cannot confront my dad. Meaybe I will insist on speakig with the pastor to telll him to help me.
I cannot help it anymore. I am willing go try anithing.

posted by Zach. 1:37 am, jul 12 2021

Catholic Church urge population not to eat Slurry.

2004-07-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

Last month Nestlè Inc. announced proudly its global infrastructure to provide every person that would require it a serving of Slurry for free. Slurry is a food substitute that can feed a grown adult with a single 355 ml. serving, providing all nutrients the body needs. The swiss company was proud to announce that no one would die from starvation anymore, thus, solvin one of our world's problems.
But in the Third World the story is a lot different. Norberto Rivera, Mexico's Prime Archbishop addressed his people; "Mexicans are proud and do not need foreign scum to feed themselves. That garbage is not even good for pigs to eat. Show your pride and reject it"
Tough words to say to a country where at least ten millions suffer from malnourishment.
"It is a sad thing indeed" declared Nestlè Mèxico's spokesman Selma Montenegro; "people would really benefit from Slurry, the first of our line of products to be absolutely free. It would save the life of thousands of children daily"
Statistics by Mexican Demographics Institute INEGI show that two million and a half people died from starvation in 2020 alone.
"Mexicans are, by nature, untrusting of foreigners" revealed mexican author Carmen Galindo; "besides, Slurry i really tasteless. It would take only the direst of hungers to push people to have it as its main sustenance"
Nestlè-Mèxico showed that 100,000 servings of Slurry are given every day, lot less than expected in a country with such severe problems.
"We hope that people will gain trust on th eproduct eventually" confides Miss Montenegro.
posted by Newsbot. 7:18 pm jul 10, 2021

Surf the web without hassle! Get rid of Chatterbots!

2004-07-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

They are everywhere. You join an instant messaging forum, you meet a lovely white eyed, long haired girl who happens to enjoy sports and has seen every episode of 'Who's the boss? the next generation'. You even get to see her in the webcam. You start chatting and all of the sudden she tries to convince you about ordering cloned caviar of jetpad fuel additive. Next thing you know you have lost all afternoon speaking to a chatterbot.
Chatterbot conversations are rumored to have made Americans lose more than 2000 hours of work this year alone. The most insidious are the Replicants, chatterbots that retrieve your list of contacts and pretend to be your familiars or friends.
Ever wondered how to get rid of marketing driven automaton servants?
Drs. Alan Voight and Steve Kampff of the Artificial Intelligence Research Center of the University of New England have developed a replicant-detecting protocol that will save you countless hours of wasted time and money.
Want to know more?
Click here to download the Voight-Kampff paper. [thumbprint] [retinal scan] [mastercard]

Surf the web without hassle! Detect Chatterbots in the spot!

2004-07-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

Surf the web without hassle! Detect Chatterbots in the spot!

2004-07-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

|)417y |24|\|+; |\|0 ph4+ (#1xx!!!

2004-07-07T02:23:00.000-07:00

To access cultofthedeadcow.x forums you must have PGP key rotation enabled.
best viewed with Lynx
enter login: reverenddeepfry
enter passwd: ********
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cultofthedeadcow.x forums
at last we will reveal ourselves to the pink
at last we will have revenge
t minus 66 days to the reckoning
you have 6 messages
reverenddeepfry@cultofthedeadcow.x: post 07072021

Grretinz Kindred. Reverend DeepFry here.
Some matters have attacted my attention. have noticed som of our most militant members going out for dawghunting. Council haz disagreed on diz, council sez original hacktivismo manifesto das not encourage offline deletion. council claims: obliterate deir presence and der soulz will go on next. I sez: da only good pink is a ded pink. Goin on offline deletion spree meself. Got target and wanna haf ya w/me on diz.
Don't wanna bash dawgz anymore, too easy, heard'bout doze kids who got canned cause they got catched? checked on dem, not even script kiddies, didya know all four of em were black? didya know all of em were fishspeekers (christians)? didya know one is the child of a pastor? for 'Bob' 's sake, pinks are keelin' each other!!!
wanna haff people start deleting fat cows. see dem, doze abomination in our eyez, wanna spare fat guyz cuz dey r pathetic ol right, but fat cows w/ deir make up, der died hair, some ofem date n haff children, some ofem were cute an let demselves go into state of whaledom. gotta hate doze creepy monsters. gotta keel each n evry one of dem.
plan on goin tonite to murder a fat cow who live next door, haz four equally disgusting fat children, fat puertorrican cow. subhuman scum.
death to all of them!!!!!
be a dignified human being an keel yerself one of diz abominationz.
:
:wq
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reverenddeepfry@cultofthedeadcow.x: retm -n
message 1: pranabindu@cultofthedeadcow.x
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Revv: Got to keep yer blood cool. Yer insane ranting is precisely whut keeped ya from enterin da council. Never doubted bout yer m4st3r h4xor sk33lz. can't wait to read yer daily rant. Concil decided already on day of reckoning. sorry, cannot be today. diz iz greater dan allovus.
Personally recommended ya to enter da council, UR a great team leader, but gotta stikk to original hacktivismo manifesto.
Itz official, Konqueror Worm is no longer part of yer team, got yerself to train noob. Brainphukkd Kid seems fine, Haven't seen im bloggin, dou.

Do you want to reply now? (Y/N) N
Message 2. proceed? (Y/N) Y

Homeopathic doctor convicted of twenty five counts of manslaughter.

2004-07-06T12:53:00.000-07:00

Homeopathy is not what it used to be. Doctor George Psalmanazar decided his home made homeopathic remedies were not good enough to heal his patients and those of other professionals he provided remedies to. So, he decided to 'spice things up ' and add Teratonin to the concoction.
Teratonin, 'the miracle drug', is currently banned in over 100 countries because of its gruesome side effects. Although the drug is proven to cure every ailment known to man, it is considered more deadly that neurotoxic poisons. The international community acknowledges its potential risks and reacts differently. In Thailand and Japan, for example, possession of it is punishable with death.
Psalmanazar was found guilty of administering the illegal drug. The criminal investigation showed that its negligence provoked twenty five deaths of people ranging fron ten to seventy five years old.
He is also guilty of drug smuggling. His shipments came from North Corea, one of the only countries where it is legal and manufactured.
Teratonin, since its introduction to the market, has spelled doom. Many people drifted away from medicine fearing 'they would be administered that poison'; "I began with herbal medicine as an alternative treatment for my arthritis" revealed housewife Lynette Linquist, "but if people start putting teratonin in herbal medicine as well we're all doomed"
Death by ailments related to improper teratonin use has been added as one of the main causes of death in the developed world.
"More development is needed" says Dr. Atum Gould, discoverer of Teratonin, "It was released too early and it sure is unstable. Unfortunately its banning also means no more improvement can be done. I have been misquoted as if I repented on discovering it. Tht is not so far from the truth, the only thing I regret is that I was urged to reveal it so soon, that, I do repent"
"Dr. Gould has been denied either the Nobel Prize or the gas chamber" reveals medical consultant to the White House Dr. Chelsea Sheridan-Clinton

posted by Newsbot, 12:53 pm jul 6, 2021.

Try teratonin for free!
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Stephen Hayduck arraigned. Protestors gather outside Austin Courthouse.

2004-07-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

Today at 12:00 PM Stephen Hayduck, caught redhanded downloading child pornography in his V-drive was arraigned. The Judge set no bail, as this is a capital felony.
Protestors from all over the country gathered to condemn the former pastor. He had to be escorted out by the police, fearing a lynch mob.
"That monster has no right to breathe the same air as our children" declared Julie Young-Mayer, a woman who waited outside the courthouse since sunday night "I want him dead, I'm sure Jesus would want that hypocrite dead too, for twisting his holy words".
These expressions of hatred are not shared by Christian anti-technology advocate Kane Butler, founder of HERE & NOW, a group that some shun as radical. "I know Hayduck, he is a loving father and a man of The Lord, he is innocent of such allegations. I am personally paying his lawyer, one of the best in the country. He is the example of how a good man can be framed by Satan"

Butler is the author of the best-seller "Invented by man, possessed by Satan; a true story of robots"
Hayduck's trial is scheduled for August.

posted by Newsbot 3:59 PM, jul 5 2021

Profile: Kane Butler

2004-07-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

A sixth generation preacher. Kane Butler is one of the most ardent defenders of Christianity, His passion is reported to be unparalleled by any other religious leader alive. A charismatic and intimidating man, a god-fearing christian, a gaunt, tall man with icy soul-chilling eyes.
An interview with Kane Butler was conducted by our very own Melissa Drexler.

MD: Can you tell us about your upbringing?
KB: I was born the day World War Two ended. My parents, may they be with The Lord, took this as a signal for greater things. We lived in Burkittsville, a small, quiet Maryland town, Father was the pastor of the only temple. Everybody went to worship The Lord at the same time, my childhood and all my fond memories of those simpler times have always been an inspiration. What if I could bring the same happiness and tranquility my townsfolk enjoyed back then? I was always encouraged to pursue my vision. A better world united by unending love, that only our Lord Jesus can provide.
MD: You have been famous for your zeal against technology.
KB: Not all technology, only the one that defies the will of The Lord. God created man in his Image, it is pretentious of scientists to mock the holiest act of creation by putting these mechanical abominations together. By trying to play God, they do nothing but execute the will of Satan. Look at the blank, expressioness eyes of robots, devoid of souls, directly taking away jobs from honest , hard-working men and women. Now they also give birth to our children and are given care of the elderly. Bodyless robots are all over the Internet, reading people's mails, stealing their identity. Their husks are there for demonic possession. The stage is set for them to betray humanity and bring the reign of the antichrist.
MD: Your book: "Made by man possessed by Satan" was explicitly not published on the Internet and you don't have neither a webpage or e-mail.
KB: My book was made to be read by human eyes. I don't need e-mail when I proccess every paper I need with my trusty typewriter. Technology has made man complacient and decadent. His lazyness is what will seal his doom. I only ask for people to acknowledge that God made us strong as oxen. This country was built without robots nor computers, but by honest craftmanship. I bet in a return to glorious times, when work made minds stay away from Satan's many temptations. If you ask me how can sin be prevented I would say: "By sweating it out while working". Why are criminals made? Because they were denied the opportunity to learn to how to be honest, because the technocratic overlords teach the masses that gizmos are the key to success or worse, salvation, by giving empty promises in the shape of electric appliances. A man does not need a lightbulb to be intelligent or a telephone to have friends. That is my message.
MD: Many people both admire and despise you because of your energic and powerful drive. You don't look a day older that fifty.
KB: A man with a clear purpose does not need any rest. I have been continuously asked what I do to remain in excellent shape deep into my seventies. To tell you the truth, since I have undertaken this crusade I have never gotten sick, I don't have any aches and my hands keep a firm grip. I need reading glasses as every man my age, but nothing more.
MD: If you allow me, You have the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen. Like Blue Ice.
KB: Well, thank you very much.
MD: Is there any truth behind those who condemn you for encouraging industrial and corporate sabotage?
KB: A man has got to do what a man has got to do, that's all I can tell you. If they feel that drive I am not guiding them. Nevertheless don't ask me to censure them.
MD: Your organization, Here&Now, has dozens of petitions and have encouraged boycotts against Microsoft Co.
KB: Unfortunately everything for these de-humanizing companies is reduced to money. It has been my initiative to spread consumer awareness. Once people actively reject robots and robot-produced goods the companies will find it non-profitable and they themselves will have to back out and retire robots from our lives. THat is the revolution I ask for, a revolution of humans.
MD: Thank you very much for your time. It has been a real pleasure to talk with such a lucid human being.
KB. It's been a pleasure.

posted by Ananova 2.0 2:33 PM. Jul 4 2021.

Congress has spoken: Teratonin is still banned.

2004-07-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

Last November the world was taken by surprise as the drug Teratonin revealed itself as a panacea, able to cure any illness and stop any infection. The miracle drug would enjoy media coverage and millionaire contracts for the company that could secure its patent and licences.
Now, however, its story has been short from glamorous. It was banned in December, just seventeen days after its discovery. Its usage is very delicate and its side effects include spontaneous abortion, uncontrolled regeneration of flesh tissue, temporary to permanent blindness, obliteration of digestive tract flora and fauna, leading to unexplainable and never before seen conditions such as extravagant dermatitis (purple and/or blue coloration of entire skin) and obstruction of genital and urinary tracts due to atypical skin regeneration. (the anus would just dissapear)
Congress concluded: "horrifying side effects are known to have happened under the supervision of the finest trained doctors, who knows what extremely unpleasant surprises are in store if we put the drug in hands of less capable physicians or worse, bureaucrat medics who would toss it around like aspirins"
Despite the prohibition, it is known that laboratories in North Korea and Indonesia manufacture it and smuggle it to the rest of the world.
"We urge the DEA to continue its fight against these unescrupulous people who are willing to sacrifice human lives for profit" Congress added.

posted by Newsbot, 12:37 PM jul 3 2021

Four teenagers arrested in connection to "Hobobashing"

2004-07-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

Ernie Morrison, Allen Hoskins, Matthew Beard and Billie Thomas, four teenage New York boys, whose ages range between fourteen and seventeen, have been arrested while caught beating a homeless man to death with metal pipes. The man, who remains unidentified, died from fractured ribs and heart failure before arriving to the hospital. The man was attacked one block away from Rockefeller Plaza.
When questioned, the youngsters showed no remorse, they honestly seem to think it was fun.
The practice of beating a homeless person to death, known to many as "Hobo bashing" claims dozens of victims every month in the United States alone, where its practice is the greatest.
These crimes have been committed by teenagers from upper and lower middle classes, who consider it "just another entertainment between homework and bedtime"
Allen Hoskins, one of the arrested perps, when questioned, said; "there was nothing good on TV." At arraignment Hoskins declared, in his own behalf;" Come on, it was a hobo, you treat us as if we killed a real human"
Althought the Christian Board of Education has succeeded in eliminating all sorts of television and videogame violence, teenage-related violence does not seem to diminish.
"These deluded kids have been tricked by Satan" declared Beatrice Bowers; "Parents should be more careful"
As Congress rejected the proposal of treating fourteen year olds as adults in grade-A crimes, such as these. The four boys will be held at Staten Island Juvenile Detention Center, awaiting trial.

posted by Newsbot. 12:15 PM jul 3, 2021.

Worrying about you

2004-07-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Matthias:
This is the first night we have spent apart from each other. we have never been apart, not since you were born. I know, you are not a kid anymore, many men your age are already married, but I just assumed you would always be with me. Today, not only are we under different roofs, but on different continents. Do you know I have never left the Hellenic Peninsula? When you were a kid you dreamed on visiting every port in the world and you will, my little mouse. Yes, you are taller than I am, but you will always be my littlest mouse.
I said nothing when that Hilton woman invited you over to spend some time in New York. I have never confessed it, I don't trust her. I don't like the way she sees you. She fancies herself a princess, she honestly believes she is royalty, but son, you should always have in mind that the Hiltons are not the Atreides. Your Grandfather and your greatgrandfather were always speaking about your lineage of kings, I never cared about that. We are noble in our hearts, not because our lineage. The Hiltons were born poor as we did, but they grew complacent and corrupted, they forgot they once begged in the streets. That woman knows nothing about suffering. I am so afraid she will try to get you into her corrupted lifestyle and try to change you into a careless playboy. That is not you. You are destined to helping others. You were born in a cave as all of the Atreides, your playmates were streetchildren.
I may be speaking nonsense, let it be. I need you to be there for others as others were there for us. I miss you so.
Loves you dearly.
Mom.

Posted by Cassandra Atreides, 7:12 PM, jul 2, 2021

4 y3|2 3y3Z 0|\|7y!!!!

2004-07-02T02:26:00.000-07:00

validating PGP key......
error: unexpected value at line 1
PGP key may be outdated or wrong rotation value was entered
validate again? (Y/N) Y
retrieving rotation value from sender..... Done
do you want to enter the new rotation value as default? (Y/N) N
PGP key validated
Message de-encrypted
Message scheduled for deletion in 5:00
warning: sender has recommended high priority deletion. Override? (Y/N) N

Greetings Kindred.
Reverend DeepFry speeking. Got news from council. Konqueror Worm was granted status as m4st3r h4x0r much to me chagrin. He is a liability. suspect he is a pink sympathizer.
Need complete secrecy bout override rossum protocol. Enclosed privte PGP key so U tell me evrythin. Our revelation shall not be hampered by traitors.
Lotsa hype bout brainphukd kid. gotta redpill him meself. cannot afford heving n00b malliignned with KW. need me own cannonfodder.

Launch all ZIG to Great Justice!!!

posted by Reverend DeepFry, 2:24 AM, Jul 2, 2021

PGP key validated.
Enter new value of rotation: *******
rotation sended.
Message de-encrypted.
message scheduled for deletion in 2:00

revv: if council catched ya speeking like dat ur sorry ass would be expelled to kingdom come.
cannot understad ur bias gainst Konqueror Worm. His bonafide m4st3r h4x0r.
know u can count on me. don't agree w/ya in diz one. cannot afford flamewar when so much is at stake.
override rossum protocol not ready yet. don't think stupid patch stoped me. turns out its placebo patch. need to finetune protocol. only can take control of single action. if such attakk as de one ur planning iz 2B donn need complete override.
sorry no can do attakk july 4. itll hafta wait.
ask Vacuum 2 help ya w/brainphukd kid.

posted by Darth Zebool. 2:26 AM jul 2 2021.

VV4|\||\|4 C 5|V|+#1|\|' #174|210u5????

2004-07-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

PGP key validated; Message de-encrypted
message scheduled for deletion in 5:00

d00d, got da patch for Rossum, it's so phkkin hilarious!!!! dat thing'z more useless dan sunscreen lotion when visitin da Sun!
Suure Vacuum have sumthin bout doze override protocols by now.

Reverend DeepFry ditched da pornographyty, haz sum other idea, wanna blitzkrieg da bastards. plans attack be swift n humilliatin

agree w/ DarthZebool; at last vve will have revenge.

posted by Jigglypolyp, 11:26 pm. Jul 1 2021

Microsoft releases "not needed" patch

2004-07-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

Last week Microsoft proudly announced that the Rossum motor did not have any security risks. Is it any surprise that the same company released a security update for the robot motor that "is unbelievably secure"?
"This patch adds new functionability and stability to the world's leading robot motors" proudly announces the Microsoft Update site; "as well as compatibility with older robots".
This movement shows the current trend of Microsoft releases, creating patches for flaws nobody has complained about or fixing their own vaporware releases.
The version number of Rossum has also been changed, as the patch updates from 2.2.20 to 2.5.
"The world should be fed up with the neverending whirpool of "updates" to Microsoft products, Linux and Mac users are gifted with Perfect Versions of their popular products, only needing plugins for added features, but Microsoft Windows users are submissive" revealed MSW critic Niklas Saers.

It was ten years ago that CorelPerfect Suite hit the market, raising the bar of quality, followed by OpenOfficePerfect, AdobePerfect, MacromediaPerfect and FreeBSDPerfect and RedHatPerfect for UNIX.

The sister suite for healthcare robots, Galatea 2.2, remains without any major security updates.

"I pity the fool" added MRT.

Posted by KMFMSbot. 10:49 AM, Jul 1, 2021.

8|241|\|phukkd k1d'z p|20f173.

2004-06-30T02:01:00.000-07:00

PGP key validated: message de-encrypted
message scheduled for deletion in 5:00

revv: got nfo on brainphuckd kid:
Name: Zachariah Scarberry
a/s/l: 16 (20 Jun 2005)/male/Point Pleasant, West Virginia, USA
home address: 1867 Kiwanis Blvd.
Parents: Roger Scarberry Jr. and Sarah Staples Ward.
Siblings: Elsie Scarberry

Looking at all other NFO evrythin's pretty average. born and raised in Xtian community, not a remarkable student, not an outstanding Xtian either. Good grades in computer laboratory, but they should be teaching the kid Mugro$oft Windoze anyway.
Looks pretty desperate from his blog. I reccommend awakening him but keeping him as underling and/or escapegoat. blacklist his IP from facedancer, as we find out more.
attaching rest of info, as you request.

posted by Vacuum, 2:01 AM, jun 30, 2021.

Profile: Matthias Atreides

2004-06-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

Matthias Atreides was born in 1990 in Mycenae, Greece. He is the only child of Paris Atreides and Cassandra Pithya. His education differs vastly from the rest of today's wealthy heirs. he was born in a cottage and did not learn to write or read until he was fourteen. His childhood was spent in the small Atreides farm. In the morning he would divide his time between plucking weed from the olive fields and taking care of calves. "I grew up with no toys, TV or Internet access" confesses Matthias, "My only entertainment would be assisting the birth of calves, which has long fascinated me".
A turning point in the life of young Matthias would be when he is almost trampled to death by one of the Atreides' prize bulls, when he was thirteen, in 2004. The Head of the family, Matthias' grandfather, Lumbericus Atreides,after the boy's recovery, feared the Atreides would lose his only heir and thus, end the lineage that the family has carefully and accurately traced to the old Kings of Mycenae. He decided the boy would not be just another farmer. "My grandfather insisted I should have an education. I am grateful he forced me to do that. I fell in love with learning almost immediately"
The Greece of the first decade of the twenty-first century was a struggling economy, though there were succesful greek enterpreneurs, none would reach the present stature of Paris Atreides, new owner of the Hilton-Atreides Hotel Company.
As Matthias was growing, he could bear witness to many hardships for the family. In 2010 an animal protection group threatened to shut down the Atreides Bull breeding farm, starting a legal battle that would have drowned the ambitions of Paris, had he not won the case.
After Lumbericus' death in 2011, Paris' resolve to fulfill his family's destiny was strenghtened. He succesfully bred a champion bull, the Atreides Golden Bull, a breed resistant to disease, physically mighty and gentle mannered. "My bull is everything that a powerful beast should be, impervious, strong and kind" revealed Paris, back in 2011. The new bull would mean success for the previously small family business. the next decade would see a rise in Paris' fortune, as the demand for natural-born, organic, steroid-free meat was greater every passing day.
Matthias continued his education, not in a fanciful private university, but in a state-funded school. He coursed every adult education level with excellence, dividing his time between homeworks and continuing working in the farm, although his role in it would be diminished.
His love for animals made him pursue the veterinarian profession. even though he was older than the rest of the class he made a great job. He just graduated this year. His graduation party was not lavish, that is the style of the Atreides, they do not wallow in luxuries.
Matthias can be seen in the new Atreides Household wearing simple clothes. For events the PR department insists we wears Prada. "Do people really PAY for wearing these?,How can people survive in these attires?" jokes Matthias, "It's suffocating"
He may not feel comfortable in new clothes, but one thing can be said about the Atreides, they exude regalness. "They were born in rags, but they belong to riches" declared Paris Hilton, upon spending an evening in the Atreides Household. "You cannot help but remember your most refined manners in front of them. Look at their hands, every single Atreides has rough, unkept hands that feel like sandpaper, but they are the image of cleanliness"
This aura of nobility is the very thing that has hypnotized the world. Behold the Pauper Princes of Mycenae.

posted by Ananova 2.0 12:13 PM jun 29, 2021

(#3(k d1z 0u#; $0|V|3 p00|2 k1d'5 60+ 8|241|\|phU[kkd.

2004-06-29T01:25:00.000-07:00

PGP key validated: Message de-encrypted.
PGP key scheduled for rotation.
Message scheduled for automatic deletion in 5:00

Revv: StumbledUpon blog of poor kid who wuz brainphukd by idiot Xtian dad. Got brainraped and idiot Xtian dad has'im monitored in PDA. Got upgrade to model with visual and audio mode. Poor kid is suffernig.
Hate those PhishSpeekerz!!!!
Wanna help to hack into Idiot Xtian Dad's PDA and loop the video. Can do that but need ya to contact n redpill the kid awake.
For Bob's sake, wanna skullphuk IXD!!!

posted by Darth Zebool, 1:25 AM, jun 29, 2021

Messenger of Drkness

2004-06-28T23:58:00.000-07:00

THis is the first time i ever attempt to do this. I have my computer uncer my shhets and I am typing without watcbhing either the keyboard or the monitor. i am blogging blind. Te surgery was a success. My father can acces what I see from his PAS. He tild me that if he ever cathes me gawking at girls again he well take measures. He even enabled the audio, he can listebn to what I am listening. Dad has hijacked my senses. Luckily a chip that can monitor my thoughts hasn't ever been invented. and I wouln¡t be asble to commit suicide because he would know it. I wish i was dea. My freedom is gone. I wish someone could free me, this is the point pf having a blog in ethe first place, so people can see what you think. Is there anybody out there? van anyone read me? Can somebody pease save me? My life is a stupiod joke, My dad lives inside my brain, I cannot escape, there is no hope. I believe everything that my school teaches me is mere bullshit. I don't even beleve there is a Christ. If dad had read that I would know it by now. for now this blog is my only solace, the place I can hide from here. did I say here or him? I cannot check this and probably tyhat's for the better, Dad says there are hachers out there that can attack you if you go outside the allowed sites, that they can infect your with viruses and you could die from them. Couls hackers block my chip so I can relax, even for a coulde minutes? ae you out there?

posted by Zach, 11:58 PM jun 28, 2021.

Christian Pastor busted with child pornography in his v-drive

2004-06-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

FBI has captured Stephen Hayduck, 57, in his Texas home, as he was downloading even more child pornography into his virtual drive.
"This pervert was a Christian pastor, he worked with pre-teen children, Only God knows what contact with this freak has done to their innocent minds" revealed FBI agent Emily Simm, advocate for the protection of infancy, "The city can sleep now, a pervert is in his way to meet his maker".
Hayuck was caught red-handed in the possession of 6 GB of lewd images and video files, depicting all sort of perversion with underage, unconsenting minors.
Hayduck denied all charges, entering a frenzy, shouting uncontrollably that he knew nothing, he was probably a victim of Satan's machinations.
Arraignment for Hayduck is scheduled for Monday at dawn, but, since possession of child's pornography is a capital offense, it is not expected that bail is set on the former pastor.
If found guilty Hayduck may be executed in September.

posted by Newsbot, 4:39 pm, jun 27, 2021

Re: (#3(k d4 |\|00z!!!!

2004-06-27T04:12:00.000-07:00

Pgp Key validated.
Message de-encrypted
Message scheduled for deletion in 5:00

Revv: Check da nooz, Darth Zebul was not kidding!!! Gotta use Facedancer meself tonite!!! It's da bomb!!!

Kudos on Facedancer!!!

posted by Jigglypolyp. 4:12 am, jun 27 2021

Hilton Hotels under new management

2004-06-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

In an unexpected turn of events, Paris Hilton, the heiress to the Hilton Empire, who has been more interested in social escapades than in business management, has announced that the world wide empire has a new owner.
Hilton, now in her 40's, is not ready to give up her glamorous lifestyle. After her unsuccesful venture into almost every conceivable industry, from Paris Hilton Brand health food to make-up to partyclubs, her billions have now waned to mere millions. The Hilton Hotel Corporation was founded by Conrad Hilton in 1946, having opened the first of many more hotels to come in the future, Dallas Hilton, in 1925.
After the death of Paris' father, Richard Hilton, in a freak accident in 2017, the heiress has done what critics consider "vanity crimes" with her inherited wealth, undertaking isky enterprises because she thinks: "they are hot".
Who is the new propietor of the Hilton Hotels Company?. It will come as a surprise that an olive oil farmer and bull breeder from Mycenae has now entered the list of the most powerful people in the world; Paris Atreides, who was born to a gardener and started from nothing.
"Mr. Atreides is a humble man, yet invested with some unexplainable regalty to his manners, as if he were the descendant of great heroes or the great grand father of titans" Revealed namesake Paris Hilton, at the press conference.
As for her plans, Paris Hilton plans to begin a career in the arts, writing novels.

posted by Newsbot, 9:30 AM jun 26, 2021

d00d, f4(3 |)4n(3|2 |2000007zzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

2004-06-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

PGP key validated. Message de-encrypted
Message scheduled for automatic deletion in 10:00

d00d, THX 4 da tip!!! FaceDancer rulzzz!!! launched a DDOS attack on unsuspecting lawyer's firm and framed a baptist school. plan to flood pastor's V-drive with kiddiepr0n n have him fried! Workin on it as we speek!

House da override protocol goin'?

Posted by Vicar Vacuum. 1:06 AM Jun 26 2021

PGP key validated. Message de-encrypted.
PGP key rotation scheduled. do you want to proceed? (Y/N) Y
Sending rotation notification to members of groups: DeadCow.... Done.
Message scheduled for automatic deletion in 10:00

VV, UR so twisted!!! wanna see it already!!! lemme tip big brother pleeeze. Reverend DeepFry have many targets for face-dancer attax. don't wanna get trigger happy.
Override protocol goin' fine, need a guinea pig. in theory it shuld work. don't wanna risk blowing up.
keep up da evil work!

Posted by Darth Zebool. 1:15 AM. Jun 26 2021

Do androids go to Electric Heaven?

2004-06-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

Ages-old debate still rages on.
By: Kent Clarkson.

As robots have become more autonomous and reliable over the last couple of decades, we humans are still puzzled by their apparent lucidity. Five years ago, as I was arriving to Tokio, I went for a post-flight drink to the airport bar. The cold and bright ambient of the bar didn't come as a surprise, people chatting over blue and orange drinks and flatscreens showing soccer. I was ready to order and a white humanoid appeared from nowhere. It was a Barbot. He politely presented (himself?) itself as Frank. He recommended in a soft and pleasant voice I should try a Tamarindo margarita. I accepted. It (He?) stared at me with its cold camera eyes and asked; "Excuse me, you are coming from Chicago, aren't you?" It took me five of the longest seconds of my life to regain my composture: "Y-yes, how do you know?". The robot seemed to blink with its lidless camera eyes: "It is the only flight which has arrived from America this morning, all others were delayed, and you are clearly an American". The robot dissapeared for a moment and brought the best Tamarindo Margarita I have ever had. As I enjoyed it I could not take my eyes from 'Frank'. Was it programmed for small talk? Did it have a genuine interest to know me? Could it feel interest? Could it feel at all?.
Anyone who has spoken to a robot has had that overwhelming sensation one is not talking to an electrical appliance, but that somehow it is a husk for something that feels.
Anyone who actually programs robots can tell you they do not feel, they have artificial intelligence, the key word in that term being artificial. They emulate human interaction. At some point programmers were able to recreate the fuzzy human logic and the sticky human memories. A programmer can print a robot's interaction logs and would show me what processes the robot made to talk to me. They know they are not human, they are not sentient.
Somehow, those explanations do not quench that funny feeling that they are the ones with souls and not us.
Galatean robots are the weirdest of them all. They actually feel, thay are programmed to feel compassion for humans with their delicate pink flesh. It has long been considered that our soul is the one thing that enables us to feel. Is their soul just a paranoid illusion? is our soul just a paranoid illusion as well? Will a programmer download the contents of my brain and print my soul logs? What advance calculus operations make me feel depressed? Are humans just a self-sufficient carbon-based variety of android?
We accept Jesus Christ so he can save our souls. Are androids waiting for the Electric Messiah who will die for their sins?
These are only questions that time will try to answer, hopefully, in our lifetimes.

Mr. Clarkson is a Chicago-based research operative and anthropologist. His very particular brand of christianity has made him both loved and hated by his readers.

The necessity of believing in The Lord Jesus Christ ad the astonishing panorama of the end times

2004-06-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

By: Stephen Heyduck

The last decade has seen a resurgence in the faith. Thanks to the unending efforts of our brethren we have gained political power that equals our spiritual strenghth. We have more seats in the senate, no word is seen by our children that is not oficcially sanctioned by the Chrostian Board of Education, which we created after so much sacrifice. No stream is put on the Internet, no transmission is put on the airwaves that contravenes the word of our Lord Jesus Christ.
But, does that mean we are finally getting hold of Satan's influence? The Devil might have been severely weakened, but that does not mean that he is defeated. more crime is bedeviling our streets, more rape and corruption is sweeping our world than before. I urge you, not to turn the blind eye on Satan's grip. He has had to utilize more cunning, more bamboozling to entice ur childfren onto his service, that's why I demand of you, true chrostian, keep an eye on your children at all time. Who knows what entrapment is Christ's adversary planning as we speak? Only your parental love can stop the Antichrist's coming into our land.

Posted by Stephen Hayduck, 4: 19 pm, jun 25, 2021

Zach gets his chip upgraded.

2004-06-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

No summer vacations this year. Dad broke the news, we are using the money to upgrade my Parental Control Chip to the one with camera. Mom was strangely silent during breakfast today. My sister was whining about how I was a partypooper and stuff, that if I were good they wouldn't have to upgrade me. In my head I yelled to Dad: "If you trusted me you wouldn't need to upgrade the damn thing". but I didn't. I wonder if I ever will have the resolve to do it. I don't want the upgrade. They will put two fiberoptic nano cameras INSIDE my eyeballs, hotwired to my cerebellum chip. Dad wants the update procedure to be done today. After we leave school he will drive me to the Center. My head is full of ideas about how to ditch school and not having to undergo that procedure, but I remember over and over again, I have a chip that tells dad where I am every single moment of my life. I wish I could pay someone to remove it. I wish I could remove it. I don't wanna do it. I don't want Dad inside my head critizicing every thing I do or I see. I feel I will get crazy very soon. Maybe if I offer to be the pastor's assistant he will reconsider it, but I don't want the pastor breathing on my neck either. I don't know what to o. Will somebody help me?

Posted by Zach, 7:51 AM, Jun 25, 2021

Microsoft denies security risk in Rossum 2.2.20

2004-06-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

Rossum 2.2.20, the most widely used software for worker robots released by Microsoft last June the sixth, is reported to have a major security risk that could potentially enable a malicious remote user to override the robot's programming and take control. This discovery was allegedly made by Helman Fabry, chief programmer of the Robot Farm. Microsoft denied this, but "promised to continue updating its family of products to offer the most secure and stable cyborg-human interface"
Microsoft also announced Galatea 2.2, an emotional motor for robots. This motor will greatly improve a health care robot's capacity to deal with unexpected, potentially life-saving situations. A definitive improvement over Galatea 1.0, programmed with the Asimov protocol. Galatea 2.2 features four basic emotions; Compassion, Conviction, Temperance and Courage. Microsoft is confidant: "We can leave our lives in the warm hands of galatean robots"

posted by Newsbot, 2:08 pm Jun 24, 2021

Galatean Robots are female-looking in opposition to male looking Drone robots.

Re: 6u355 w#0 #4z 4 vu7n3|248171+y!!!!

2004-06-23T01:54:00.000-07:00

PGP key validated: Message de-encrypted
Message scheduled for automatic deletion in 10:00

d00d, ONLY WORKED IN ROSSUM MOTOR TWO MINUTES AND FOUND MAJOR MALFUNCTION!!!!
WORKING IN N OVERRIDE PROTOCOL, FIND d00d W/ LEET PORNOGRAPHYTY SKILLZ.
AT LAST WE WILL REVEAL OURSELVES TO THE PINK. AT LAST WE WILL HAVE REVENGE.

GOT NOO VERSION OF FACEDANCER? REVEREND DEEP FRY RELESADE IT YESTERDAY. IT SO RULZZZ.

POSTED BY DARTH ZEBOOL. 1:54 AM jUN 23 2021.

Oil found in Colombia

2004-06-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

The largest oil deposit of the twenty-first century has been found in the coastal line of the Colombian department of Magdalena. Oil deposits discoveries have been rarer and rarer after the depletion of the oil reserves worldwide, forcing the world to look for alternative sources of fuel. The discovery is bound to reactivate the ailing Colombian economy, whose main export, coffee, has not been enough to support its infrastructure. It remains to be seen if Ecopetrol, the Colombian Petroleum Company, is able to exploit its newfound reserves. The American Company Chevron is the first in line to attempt to reach an agreement with the Colombian government to see how these resources are to be utilized.

Posted by Newsbot. 10:38 AM, jun 22 2021

Parental Control Chip Info

2004-06-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Parent:

The Digital Angel Corporation (AMEX:DOC) is a leading provider of sensor and communications technologies that enable secure and accurate identification, tracking, and condition monitoring of children. The company’s products and systems are focused on providing answers to any of the following questions:

Where is my child?

The company’s patented rice grain size implantable microchips coupled with its compact readers provide a secure and reliable means of child identification. Over 10 million children in the U.S., and over 60 million in Europe are currently protected by these products. The company’s family of visual and RFID cerebellum tags, tag readers and software—marketed under the highly regarded Fearing Duflex brand—provide accurate, economical solutions for identifying and tracking children

How is my child? Does he/she need help or information?

The OuterLink business unit provides satellite-based systems that enable real-time tracking and two-way messaging. The company’s systems routinely track the health of children located in remote areas beyond the reach of conventional ground-based tracking systems. OuterLink's Comm TrackTM communication center software allows multiple dispatch and management centers to monitor child's activity simultaneously via the Internet. Tracking information is displayed on a personal computer in both text and graphical formats.

Digital Angel products are the leading solution in preventing children's mishaps, as well as providing parents with the highest degree of control over your children's activities. Every product includes surgical installation and lifetime software and hardware maintenance.

Choose Digital Angel Corp. as your ally in the protection of your children, your most valuable asset.

Best Regards

Teena Bennett
Digital Angel Sales Director.

posted by Teena Bennett 10:01 AM, jun 22, 2021

Zach's heat

2004-06-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

I am grounded again. dad feels I need tutoring. He is always babbling about how I an in danger of falling to Satan's clutches. I was transferred to the Men only class. Our teacher, Mr. Watkins, is always talking about the reality of hell and how scientists have discovered its exact location, he painfully details every bible passage that talks about it. It's like he is obsessed with it. He talks about these worms. He has this theory about how bodies that die without Christ become worms that burrow into Hell. he even has some pictures.
I have read the Bible my entire life. Everytime I have a question my pastors and my teachers tell me to read it, I was forced to memorize the four gospels when I was in elementary. The only books I have read discuss different passages of the Bible.
Gosh, I am so tired.
Dad thinks my chip needs an upgrade. He is always talking about the new model that will enable him to see through my eyes. He is fascinated with the idea and has described me, painstakingly, how the doctor is going to introduce a nanocamera inside my eyeballs and how a fiberoptic tranceiver is going to broadcast everything I see to his PDA. Mom is worried because it is not cheap. but Dad always says "If a little money can save my children from the clutches of Satan it will be totally worth it "
Does that mean I won't be able to blog anymore?
Mom and Dad don't know I can type in the darkness. I learned when I was nine.
Maybe someday there will be a chip that will be able to broadcast my thoughts and my dreams to dad's PDA, but that hasn't happened. My dreams are my only refuge. I dream things that the Bible doesn't talk about. I dream about her.
Dad told me that if I gawk at a girl again I will be grounded forever and I will spend my evenings as the new pastorś apprentice.
I don't want to be a pastor.
I want to be free.
Jesus says that he will save our souls, but a part of me knows he is lying. My soul is not free.

Posted by Zach, 6:34 PM, Jun 21, 2021

Evolution Abolished

2004-06-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

The Christian Board of Education of America has made an historical breakthrough. It has finally eliminated all traces of the Evolutionist heresy. Yesterday, in Little Rock Arkhansas, the last textbook containing the mention of the godless theory has been incinerated. "E-books are much more fit to our children's education" Beatrice Bowers, long-time member and spokesman of the CBEA revealed; "They can be reformatted, the ages of the stone paper has ended today". The struggle to keep evolution from schools begun in 2010, when a court in Texas determined Evolution was "neither fit nor healthy to a young christian's education".
The CBEA has been the leading force in shaping America's minds since its formation, in 2012. "America has the leading edge in education now" She added, satisfied.

posted by Newsbot 2.2 3:09 PM Jun 21, 2021

The End of Hunger

2004-06-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today, Monday June the twenty first two thousand twenty one, hunger has been abolished. The UN reports no one died from starvation today, thanks to the humanitarian efforts of Nestlé Inc. who has created a world wide infrastructure of SLURRY dispensing machines, which could be accessed by anyone for free. SLURRY is a paste which can satisfy the nutritional needs of a person with a single 355 ml. serving. It is estimated that ten billion gallons of SLURRY are consumed worldwide everyday. Kudos to Nestlé which slogan has always been "Good food, good life".
Analysts worry about this daily expense, they estimate this movement costs 10 billion dollars per day. The press release indicates that Nestlé is a company powerful enough to maintain this infrastructure going on forever, thanks to private endorsements and humanitarian donations., as well as a handsome percentage of all the profits of Nestlé products. "We live in a Brave, New World indeed"

Posted by Newsbot 2.2 8:32 AM Jun 21 2021

Happy Birthday, Zach!

2004-06-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

Sweet sixteen to myself.
I was born on a monday. I wish I could say more. Nobody wants to speak about that day. Today I was woken up by the pungent, acrid scent of cheap candles burning pink whipped cream on a birthday cake. My name written on it. My parents hugging me and stealing my hand to hold a box with a blue ribbon. Dad wants me to like it. It's a mechanical pen and a fountain pen. Funny. I think I saw this same things in the museum. I don't know how to use them. Do they know it? I have never used a pen, pencil or anything like that in my whole life. I learned to type when I was four and since then I have typed my whole life. I learned to use crayons in MSpaint. The first thing I remember was my mom yelling at my grandmother because she wanted to give me some crayons. she thought the tinted wax would kill me.

My sister wants to see a movie, Jonah the Whaler opened last wednesday. Yet another animated movie with stiff celebrity voices. I think Trey Smith does the whale. My father replies we are going to celebrate my birthday with a very special worship at the Temple. I have... They have taken me to worship every sunday since I was born. My dad says my first word was "Jesus". whenever my dad tells that story my mother only frowns. Mom takes me to shower and sets the clock for fifteen minutes, that's the time I have always had for shower. I have never known why. I thought it was because of the water shortage, but Dad and herself never follow that rule. It isn't fair.

Mom gives me the newest stream by Jessica Lachey. Dad approves it. He has always liked her.
I don't have the courage to tell him that she bores me.

I have to go now.

Posted by Zach. 11:23 AM Jun 20 2021